Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
