so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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