I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
its liver damage thursday
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
