some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
