BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
