I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
