Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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