Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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