idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
