seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
