He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am one with the molecules
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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