I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
