First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
