Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
