i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Congratulations! We have a period
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
