there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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