In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
