found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
