We're like a lot better than the average bears
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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