Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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