Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
