So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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