I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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