I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
