are you so shy because you have an std?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
