we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
