how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This baby is an asshole
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
