it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
