Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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