I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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