I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
