Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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