She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
