i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
