i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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