You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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