Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
