He is an equal opportunity slut.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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