i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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