It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
