That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
