No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
