Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
