You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
