I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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