This is not my ceiling
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
