he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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