Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
