A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
There are leaves in my underwear?
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