my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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