He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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