I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
